Advocating for your neurodivergent child at school can feel daunting, especially if you’re worried about being labeled a “difficult” parent. As a parent, your voice is essential in advocating for your child’s needs, especially since you know them best. At the same time, teachers and school administrators share the goal of supporting their students as effectively as possible.
Know Your Rights and Your Child’s Needs
Begin by reviewing your child’s IEP, 504 plan, or any existing evaluations. If an evaluation hasn’t been done yet, consider requesting an evaluation through your child’s school to gain a clearer understanding of their strengths and needs. Familiarizing yourself with the terminology around accommodations and supports will empower you to advocate more confidently and effectively. Remember, advocacy isn’t about confrontation, it’s about partnership and finding the best ways for your child to thrive.
Build Positive Relationships Early
Reach out to teachers early in the school year using a warm, collaborative tone. Share helpful information about your child’s learning style and the strategies that have worked well in the past. For example, if your child tends to become overwhelmed by crowds and loud noises, share these insights and strategies with the school team. Express your genuine desire to work together to support your child. Also, research your state’s special education laws and rights. This helps you understand what the school is legally required to provide. Small gestures, like sending a brief introductory email or scheduling a short one-on-one chat with the teacher, can build trust and create a strong foundation for communication. Consistent, positive interaction throughout the year helps teachers feel more connected and invested in your child’s success.
Use Clear and Solution-Focused Communication
When concerns arise, be specific and solution-focused. Instead of saying, “This isn’t working,” try, “We’ve noticed our child is struggling to complete homework. Could we brainstorm a few ways to support them at home and in class?” Offering potential solutions or asking the teacher for suggestions shows collaboration and helps the conversation remain productive. Focus on specific behaviors rather than assumptions, and highlight your child’s strengths along with challenges to keep the conversation positive and constructive. Regular, open communication helps prevent small issues from becoming bigger problems and fosters a stronger partnership with educators.
Bring Notes and Documentation
Prepare for meetings by jotting down your goals, questions, and any recent observations. If relevant, bring reports or data from therapists or outside professionals to back up your concerns. Staying organized keeps the conversation productive. Therapists at Bain Health and Wellness Center take a collaborative approach and will attend school meetings upon request. Even simple logs, like a weekly tracking sheet of behaviors, homework completion, or social interactions, can provide valuable context for teachers and help guide discussions during meetings. Bringing thorough documentation also shows teachers that you are prepared and committed, which can strengthen collaboration and support your child’s progress.
Stay Calm and Centered
Even if emotions run high, staying calm helps you stay heard. Remind yourself that your role is to be a strong, steady advocate for your child—not to win a debate, but to build understanding. If needed, don’t hesitate to seek support from a friend who has faced similar challenges, your child’s therapist, or an educational advocacy group.
By advocating with empathy and clarity, you’re not only supporting your child’s academic success but also modeling healthy communication that can benefit them for years to come. Children often notice how their parents communicate with authority figures, so demonstrating calm, solution-focused advocacy can teach them skills for self-advocacy later in life.
You’re not alone in this. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by IEPs, 504 plans, or how to communicate with your child’s school, we’re here to help.
Book a parent coaching session or a free consultation today by using this link or calling us at (857) 203-0010 to learn how therapy and coaching can empower your advocacy journey and help your child feel more confident and supported this school year.
Other Therapy Services Offered at The Bain Health and Wellness Center in Arlington, MA, and Throughout Massachusetts
If you think your child might benefit from mental health treatment, finding the right therapist is key. At Bain Health and Wellness Center, our experienced therapists offer both in-person and virtual therapy for children, teens, and young adults dealing with ADHD, anxiety, autism, depression, trauma, OCD, and more. Every therapist on our team is trained in evidence-based treatments and brings years of experience working with young people. We’re here to listen, discuss your needs, and help you explore the best path forward. Feel free to reach out to us today!
Reference:
U.S. Department of Education. (n.d.). A guide to the individualized education program (IEP). Retrieved from -end</a>=”363″>https://www2.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html. Understood.org. (n.d.). How to </em>advocate for your child at school. Retrieved from data-end=”610″>https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-advocate-for-your-child-at-school
